His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
