I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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