no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
