big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
