i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize