i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
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I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
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How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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