I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
