Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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