the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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