Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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