nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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