The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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