If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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