Fine. I'll sleep in my office
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
