On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
