you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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