i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
