U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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