He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
