I'd wear matching sweaters with you
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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