Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.