you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
