mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
We need to rekindle our bromance
Girls should come with a carfax report
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
