I'm really into asian looking animals
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
