I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
