i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
