So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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