I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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