after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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