he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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