Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize