He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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