I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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