It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You are the jesus of drinking
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
