How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
