I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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