Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We just shotgunned beers for America
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize