Tell her she can't have a vagina
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
