just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
