Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
