So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
