I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
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Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
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Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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