i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
