Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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