Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.

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  (847): On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity. http://tfl.nu/th3j
  Replies (24) Good night (7313) Bad night (956)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.

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  (208): aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it. http://tfl.nu/sbum
  Replies (18) Good night (7294) Bad night (1311)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there

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  (701): He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there http://tfl.nu/wgp9
  Replies (2) Good night (1024) Bad night (1899)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.

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  (810): people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart. http://tfl.nu/4ahf
  Replies (14) Good night (3537) Bad night (779)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.

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  (432): Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know. http://tfl.nu/dusl
  Replies (5) Good night (1312) Bad night (2811)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together

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  (713): Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together http://tfl.nu/dsi2
  Replies (6) Good night (3387) Bad night (673)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.

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  (614): Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween. http://tfl.nu/cwdu
  Replies (13) Good night (911) Bad night (2665)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...

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  (228): how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it... http://tfl.nu/36tz
  Replies (5) Good night (661) Bad night (850)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.

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  (706): after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius" (404): I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off. http://tfl.nu/115h
  Replies (3) Good night (2392) Bad night (553)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.

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  (305): One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud. http://tfl.nu/ff3s
  Replies (1) Good night (1195) Bad night (477)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Understatement of the year.

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  (440): Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions. (330): Understatement of the year. http://tfl.nu/jbsv
  Replies (2) Good night (957) Bad night (531)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.

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  (412): so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head? (724): stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final. http://tfl.nu/zs0y
  Replies (2) Good night (1376) Bad night (380)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me

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  (860): It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me http://tfl.nu/na7x
  Replies (3) Good night (735) Bad night (442)
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  (661): View more from California

  I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.

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  (661): I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera. http://tfl.nu/brbw
  Replies (0) Good night (380) Bad night (226)
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  (914): View more from New York

  She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.

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  (914): She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude. http://tfl.nu/hykh
  Replies (0) Good night (300) Bad night (254)

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