Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.

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(410): View more from Maryland

i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"

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(620): View more from Kansas

Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(828): View more from North Carolina

Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado

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(705): View more from Ontario

I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."

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(647): View more from Ontario

I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"

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(812): View more from Indiana

Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough

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(313): View more from Michigan

Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?

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