We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.