Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(831): View more from California

'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....

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(816): View more from Missouri

Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(540): View more from Virginia

You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.

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(206): View more from Washington

My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.

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(407): View more from Florida

You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.

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(519): View more from Ontario

My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.

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