Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.

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(916): View more from California

Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?

(760): View more from California

You are my hero

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(203): View more from Connecticut

We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...

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21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
Read it at the TFLN blog
(217): View more from Illinois

You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.

(1-262): View more from Wisconsin

Prepare the pitchfork.

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