I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.