Texts From Last Night

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  (561): View more from Florida

  So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.

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  (561): So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon. http://tfl.nu/ni4o
  Replies (10) Good night (3212) Bad night (505)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people

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  (541): I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people http://tfl.nu/4uzt
  Replies (16) Good night (3429) Bad night (805)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life

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  (817): they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life http://tfl.nu/g989
  Replies (8) Good night (3269) Bad night (815)
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  (530): View more from California

  just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life

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  (530): just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life http://tfl.nu/64wx
  Replies (28) Good night (7721) Bad night (648)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.

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  (773): It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out. http://tfl.nu/p4fr
  Replies (16) Good night (5155) Bad night (696)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.

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  (740): He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick. http://tfl.nu/4s44
  Replies (22) Good night (4775) Bad night (1195)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.

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  (712): buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks. http://tfl.nu/xy6a
  Replies (5) Good night (3305) Bad night (843)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on

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  (832): You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on http://tfl.nu/zwxm
  Replies (4) Good night (3030) Bad night (607)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.

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  (203): The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward. http://tfl.nu/eiym
  Replies (6) Good night (717) Bad night (1734)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.

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  (360): This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made. http://tfl.nu/7tve
  Replies (5) Good night (1556) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.

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  (248): im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night. http://tfl.nu/slk3
  Replies (2) Good night (438) Bad night (1366)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.

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  (918): He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his. http://tfl.nu/1fae
  Replies (32) Good night (3021) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.

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  (414): Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter. http://tfl.nu/rhw8
  Replies (7) Good night (1223) Bad night (401)
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  (415): View more from California

  Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.

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  (415): Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack. http://tfl.nu/dkfp
  Replies (2) Good night (674) Bad night (185)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help

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  (727): I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help http://tfl.nu/aa2d
  Replies (4) Good night (287) Bad night (205)

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