She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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