he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
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Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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