he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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