Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
