physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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