I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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