kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
