I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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