So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
