Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you didnt know i had herpes?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
