Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
