He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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