My cat gives me a boner
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
