you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
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Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
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It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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