Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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