escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
