Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
