Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
