You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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